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When will I meet my soulmate?

 Copyright 2010, 2011 by Jacqueline Wellspring. Please inquire for reprint rights and permissions.
 
 
Because I have been doing psychic readings for over 25 years, this is a question that I've heard many, many times.
 
What if I receive the psychic news that someone is going to meet their Soul Mate/Perfect Match soon? Well then, I tell them just that, congratulating them as I feel joyously filled with the miracle of love and life!
 
But what if that is not the information I am given? What do I do then?
 
The questioner is usually a teenager or young woman. I look at her and see her potential, her immaturity and her hope -- her hope that all the attention and excitement of a romance will magically make everything in her life perfect. 
 
I bite my tongue and do not say: "You are immature and impatient, confused about who you are and what you want from life. Your communication and relational skills are poor. You have a lot of learning and growing ahead of you. You are not ready."
 
I think it, but it would do no good to say it.
 
After all, we do all want to be loved and admired, listened to and complimented, indulged and pursued. It's only human to want to be the focus of another's attention. And we want it now.
 
Other times the querant is a somewhat older woman with a weary or guarded air. She's been hurt or disappointed a few times. She wonders whether there exists a good partner for her, someone she can trust, someone with whom she can share her life.
 
Boys or men ask this question less often. Why is that? I would guess it's because women tend to be very relationship-oriented and men tend to be more self-fulfilled and independent.
 
Although this is true for the majority of women and men, there are always exceptions to these generalizations -- the women who want no encumbrances and the men whose lives revolve around home and family.
 
There is not room here to go into the challenges that the all-too-common difference in orientation between men and women might create, or for me to rail against a culture that tells us that the solution to our personal problems is external.
 
Instead, let's talk about the teenager or woman facing me. She's unhappy and impatient, or hopeful and impatient, hoping that I will tell her that she will meet her Soul Mate next week and then all her problems will be miraculously solved and she'll live happily ever after.
 
Hah! As spiritual people know, no man, woman or angel is going to swoop into our lives and make everything fine.
 
However, if I am too blunt with her too quickly, I will destroy my rapport with this client, and that would be unproductive, as there usually is something that Spirit wants me to tell her. If I scare her away, or offend her, I won't get a chance to say it.
 
I summon my patience and compassion, remembering that we all have ego selves and our individual human frailties. I begin talking. I tell her that I'm sorry to disappoint her, but that I don't see her Soul Mate in the immediate future. I usually do see her meeting her partner further ahead in the future -- if she is willing to do some personal growth in the meantime -- so I will say that.
 
The thing is, I am truly sorry that I can't tell her what she wants to hear, but it just wouldn't be the truth.
 
If I was a con artist, I would lie to her and tell her a future that I don't see. Or I would tell her that for a thousand dollars I will pray for her/do a magic spell to summon her Soul Mate to her side. When she next returned, I'd tell her that he was on his way, but I needed another thousand dollars to seal the deal. (Yes, those folks are out there who do this kind of thing.) But that's not what Spirit wants me to do, or that I would ever feel good about doing.
 
I will, instead, begin to give her ideas about what she needs to do for her own development. I remind her that she doesn't want to repeat relationship errors she has already made. If she met her Soul Mate/Perfect Match right now, she would probably just repeat the old relationship mistakes that didn't work the last time.
 
I carefully work my message around to the reality that if she met her Soul Mate now she just wouldn't be ready for him/her. It wouldn't have a good ending. By that point in the reading she is usually saddened that I haven't offered her a quick fix, but knows that what I've told her makes sense.
 
Spirit has given her a personalized homework assignment. As always, it's up to her whether she decides to act on it.
  
 
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