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Endarkenment 101

 

In this course we will explore, individually and as a group, the basic steps on the path to Endarkenment. There will be plenty of practice exercises.

 

Please bring note-taking materials, casual clothes -- in case you will need to practice groveling and self-flagellation -- a Devil Card from the Major Arcana of the Tarot and ugly party hats and shrill noisemakers (for the Pity Party that will end the class).

 

Note:  Endarkenment is open to students of any -- and all -- religions and spiritual paths, as the techniques are not unique to any one belief system. Each of us has the basic human tools necessary to learn the mastery of Endarkenment. In fact, some us us may already be unrecognized masters of the subject!

 

Course Syllabus:

 

1. Avoiding Responsibility

including Mastery of Blaming and Projection of our Shadow Onto Others

 

Sample Practice Exercises:

Find situations wherein you can practice the skills of blaming: "It wasn't my fault, it was his", "Why did you make me do this?" and "It's all the fault of the ... (fill in your favorite race, sex, religion, ethnicity or political party)."

Home, school, work and social occasions should all provide good practice opportunities.

 

For extra credit, add the nonverbal gestures -- shrugging off responsibility and finger-pointing.

 

2. Following False Religious/Spiritual Paths

including Self-Righteousness, Power Grabs, Manipulation, Sexual and Financial Exploitation

 

Expound on: "Forget all your other teachers, I am The One", "We know the true and only way to salvation," "You no longer have any need of your earthly possessions. Give them all to me," and "I'm coming over to your place tonight to initiate you (... as a witch, adept, bodhisattva, etc)."

 

3. Self-Sabotage

including Addictions and the Mantras of Low Self-Worth

 

Sample Mantras:

A) Consume copious amounts of alcoholic beverages or recreational drugs while repeating: "Life is unfair, and no one ever gave me a chance."

B) "I will never get out of debt" -- repeat multiple times each day, while reaching for your credit card.

C) Conclude that you will always be alone because you are -- simply -- unlovable. Repeat ad nauseum: "No one will ever love me."

Extra credit is awarded for repeating this so loudly that you don't notice when someone is trying to initiate a conversation with you.

    

Practice Exercise:  Martyrdom

Spend so much time fixing others' problems, or taking care of others, that you don't take care of yourself. Give away all your time, money and energy.

 

4. Sabotaging Others

including techniques of Destructive Criticism, Emotional Manipulation, Creative Guilting and Playing the Victim

 

Sample Mantras:

A) "I don't know why you should have the time for your spiritual practice when I work my fingers to the bone just to keep this family afloat!"

B) "You are aware of Spirit within yourself? Your Guidance talks to you all the time? Who made you the Lord Almighty?"

C) "You call that meditation? In my day we levitated every time we meditated!"

 

5. Advanced Avoiding Responsibility

including Mastering Excuses, Self-Rationalization and Procrastination

 

Mastering the Spiral Mantra:

"I don't have time for my spiritual practice, I'm in school,"

"I don't have time for my spiritual practice, I'm looking for work,"

"I don't have time for my spiritual practice, I'm learning a new job,"

"I don't have time for my spiritual practice, I'm getting married,"

"I don't have time for my spiritual practice, I'm raising kids,"

"I don't have time for my spiritual practice, I have a life-threatening illness."

 

6. Sabotaging Your Power

including mastering self-depreciating inner dialogue, visualizing failure and avoiding challenges.

  

Mantras:

"I'll never amount to anything, "I'm a loser" and "I might as well just give up."

 

Extra credit for giving your power away to authority figures and mastering the art of giving up at your first failure.

 

7. Avoiding Fun at All Costs

including Social Isolation and the Self-Pity Party

 

Sample Exercises for the Party: Bring your favorite Pity Party chants and dances, including:  "We All Come from the Darkness", "May the Circle Be All Broken" and that perennial favorite, "Doom and Gloom" ("Doom and gloom/Doom and gloom/Why even try?/We'll Be Dead Soon").

 

Mantras:

"I don't deserve to be happy," "Life is one disappointment after another", "People always let me down" and "I'll just stay home and feel sorry for myself."

 

Bonus Credit

 1 ~ Additional class credit will be awarded for coming up with unique and inventive new ways of creatively distracting yourself so that you can ignore what your spiritual Guidance is attempting to tell you.

 

 2 ~ If anyone gets through the entire course without cracking a smile, s/he will immediately be granted a graduate diploma in recognition of mastery of the crucial Endarkenment techniques of Self-Importance and Self-Righteousness.

 

I would like to credit Max Marcus -- may his spirit play in the Summerland -- for coming up with the idea of teaching Endarkenment classes through Denver Free University in the 1980s. I don't remember what Max included in his classes, but I had fun deciding what I would include in mine.